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Despised and Rejected

Posted on August 18, 2010 by newhope2010

Losing someone very close to us can have a devastating effect on our lives, especially when we have loved that person dearly for many years.

Whether by death, by divorce, or through abandonment or desertion, the sense of loss pervades every aspect of our daily lives and throws our whole being into chaotic disorder at times.

We constantly ask, “Why?”  We struggle to find answers to a thousand questions.  We torture ourselves day and night wondering whether “it could have been different if…”

Even with a strong faith in God, there are times when we feel that life is just not worth living anymore; that even God is not listening now.

The sense of loss affects our physical being as well as our emotions.  We lose our appetite.  We cannot sleep.  We feel knotted up inside.  We struggle to concentrate on anything.  Our bodily functions are all topsy-turvy.  We cry at the strangest of times, and sometimes for hours on end.  And at times it seems nothing can cheer us or distract us from the obsessed thoughts which career around and around inside our brains.

When there has been conflict or disagreements, or just misunderstandings, it is even worse.  For now we have lost the opportunity to resolve whatever it was.  Either that someone has gone completely - through death, or communication has broken down so badly that it is impossible to talk about it anymore.

I’m not sure which really is worse – losing someone through death, or having someone just walk out of one’s life – but, for me, deserting someone who loves us must be the cruelest thing we could possibly do to another human being.  How could a parent do that to a child, leaving that child forever wondering why; wondering what he or she has done to deserve being abandoned that way?  Or how could one spouse do that to the other one, refusing to talk anymore, refusing to sort things out, refusing to be reconciled, refusing to accept Godly counselling aimed at finding a solution?  And how could a Christian do that to a spouse who is also a child of God?

For me, being deserted by someone I thought was my dearest friend, left me feeling completely numb and robbed me of my sense of direction for months.  I still feel crushed, violated, betrayed.

And when I think that the church I was a part of for so long just sanctioned that evil, even encouraged it, I cry and cry and cry.  I still cannot understand the cruelty of humankind, of my own brethren, of people who call themselves the children of God.  Where is the love that the apostle Paul wrote about in 1 Corinthians 13?  The love that is never destroyed?  The love that conquers all things?  The love that triumphs when Satan does his best to destroy us?

For me, I am yet to find “closure”, if ever it is possible under these circumstances.  Just incredible pain.  My fondest dreams have been smashed on the pavement and trampled on.  Everything I have ever worked for has been shredded as if it is totally insignificant.  And my love has been rejected as if it counts for nothing at all.

Then I stop and remember that it was the people of God who took Jesus and nailed him to the cross.  They hated Him when they should have loved Him.  Isaiah says they “despised and rejected” Him.  Every friend He had walked away from Him.  At least one of them told lies, denying he even knew Jesus.  After his death, they went about their business as if He did not exist anymore.

Friends, sometimes we just sit and wait, hoping the other one will return.  We postpone important decisions, hoping for a change of heart.  But in the end, we need to also remember the prayer of Jesus while on that cross:  “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”

Sometimes we cannot understand, sometimes our hearts are torn by the cruelty of others, but in the end all we can do is accept that God knows all things and God is a righteous Judge.  We need to find a way to let go, to move on, and let God deal with the sin that others have brought against us.

© Bevan Collingwood 2010